Beethoven's Immortal Beloved Letters*

For anyone who's never read them...

The Letters

July 6, in the morning
      My angel, my all, my very self - Only a few words today and at that with pencil (with yours) - Not till tomorrow will my lodgings be definitely determined upon - what a useless waste of time - Why this deep sorrow when necessity speaks - can our love endure except through sacrifices, through not demanding everything from one another; can you change the fact that you are not wholly mine, I not wholly thine - Oh God, look out into the beauties of nature and comfort your heart with that which must be - Love demands everything and that very justly - thus it is to me with you, and to your with me. But you forget so easily that I must live for me and for you; if we were wholly united you would feel the pain of it as little as I - My journey was a fearful one; I did not reach here until 4 o'clock yesterday morning. Lacking horses the post-coach chose another route, but what an awful one; at the stage before the last I was warned not to travel at night; I was made fearful of a forest, but that only made me the more eager - and I was wrong. The coach must needs break down on the wretched road, a bottomless mud road. Without such postilions as I had with me I should have remained stuck in the road. Esterhazy, traveling the usual road here, had the same fate with eight horses that I had with four - Yet I got some pleasure out of it, as I always do when I successfully overcome difficulties - Now a quick change to things internal from things external. We shall surely see each other soon; moreover, today I cannot share with you the thoughts I have had during these last few days touching my own life - If our hearts were always close together, I would have none of these. My heart is full of so many things to say to you - ah - there are moments when I feel that speech amounts to nothing at all - Cheer up - remain my true, my only treasure, my all as I am yours. The gods must send us the rest, what for us must and shall be  Your faithful LUDWIG 

Evening, Monday, July 6
      You are suffering, my dearest creature - only now have I learned that letters must be posted very early in the morning on Mondays to Thursdays - the only days on which the mail-coach goes from here to K. - You are suffering - Ah, wherever I am, there you are also - I will arrange it with you and me that I can live with you. What a life!!! thus!!! without you - pursued by the goodness of mankind hither and thither - which I as little want to deserve as I deserve it - Humility of man towards man - it pains me - and when I consider myself in relation to the universe, what am I and what is He - whom we call the greatest - and yet - herein lies the divine in man - I weep when I reflect that you will probably not receive the first report from me until Saturday - Much as you love me - I love you more - But do not ever conceal yourself from me - good night - As I am taking the baths I must go to bed - Oh God - so near! so far! Is not our love truly a heavenly structure, and also as firm as the vault of heaven? 

Good morning, on July 7
      Though still in bed, my thoughts go out to you, my Immortal Beloved, now and then joyfully, then sadly, waiting to learn whether or not fate will hear us - I can live only wholly with you or not at all - Yes, I am resolved to wander so long away from you until I can fly to your arms and say that I am really at home with you, and can send my soul enwrapped in you into the land of spirits - Yes, unhappily it must be so - You will be the more contained since you know my fidelity to you. No one else can ever possess my heart - never - never - Oh God, why must one be parted from one whom one so loves. And yet my life in V is now a wretched life - Your love makes me at once the happiest and the unhappiest of men - At my age I nedd a steady, quiet life - can that be so in our connection? My angel, I have just been told that the mailcoach goes every day - therefore I must close at once so that you may receive the letter at once - Be calm, only by a clam consideration of our existence can we achieve our purpose to live together - Be calm - love me - today - yesterday - what tearful longings for you - you - you - my life - my all - farewell. Oh continue to love me - never misjudge the most faithful heart of your beloved.
ever thine
ever mine
ever ours

To the Gods of the Keys:

I play the piano.
Ich spiele die Klavier sehr gern.
I learned a few days after I arrived that in Bonn was Ludvig Von Beethoven's birth house which had been restored into a museum and memorial of his life. The first chance I got, I went to see it.
The house was set to look like it did at Beethoven's birth year, 1770. Since his family was not wealthy, their house was not the biggest marvel. The house wasn't the biggest either but nevertheless, the Beethoven family only rented 3 rooms on the bottom floor. Creeky wooden floors were layed about, the celing low and the walls bare. I learned a lot about the man's musical career and his philosophy, which I examined with intensive curiosity. His dad started pushing Beethoven almost immediately after he was able to push a piano key. Beethoven's dad was pushing him to become 'The Next Mozart', since Mozart had been the first real child prodigy, the fad was spreading across Europe, in the eyes of the parents moreso than the kids. However, with Beethoven there was incredible success. He began performing publicly at the age of seven. Beethoven never had an accurate estimation of his age since his dad lied to him and the Cour Band Organist saying Beethoven was 10 instead of 11 so he could obtain his desired position of Lead Organist.  At the age of 16 his mother died, causing his father to drop Beethoven and his own life copmletely only to retire to alcohol.
His incredibly successful career started booming very early in his life and very soon became his entire life. In a letter he wrote that "I believe music is much more than a few notes, I believe music is related to man's greatest good, justice." He was never a devoutly religious man, yet he carried around an Egyptian saying with him wherever he went, "I am all that is, was and ever shall be. And all of these owe their existance to this one." I could tell in every translated latter from this man that he was the passion he found in his music. He was a becoming work of art and he was aware of it. He loved his work, his ethical background and himself with all the passion that he held. Quite the Roark, minus the disdain of society.
When I found myself stairing at a bust of a beautiful woman, I wondered for the first time if Beethoven was ever in love. He was never married but... I listened to the english translation of the tour and started hearing about how he made best friends with a student of his. He was 30, she was 17. "Oh, Lord..." I thought.. Evidence seems to show that their relationship never got to be more than a student-teacher basis. But when my headphones started playing the most gorgeous sounds I've ever heard to me, and the narration said that Beethoven composed Sonata No. 14, more commonly known as The Moonlight Sonata, I couldn't help but tear up with the satisfaction of knowing that Beethoven had indeed been in love. That song came from nothing but love. I play that song, and it's my favorite at the moment.. the beauty and passion that come from the sounds of those keys is incredible. I stood at that bust for quite some time, soaking up the passion of the moment...
The second touching thing that shook at Beethoven's Haus was a copy of his infamous letter, My Immortal Beloved. I had never read them before..and while I was standing in the midst of Ludwig's favorite piano, in his birth house.. I shivered. I read them through and through, sit down, listened to the music, and mused.