The Sunday School Attempt:

After checking in with me at the Murphy's Larry insisted that I stay another night because in his words 'we were having way too much fun!' So, on the following morning Cindy, Jay and I went to Larry's, then to his church in Hemmit. The plan was for me to give a Sunday school lesson to the youth group of various ages at the church. From the get go, the only idea I had thought acceptable in accordance with ME, not merely being in, but TEACHING a Sunday school class, was to pass out copies of Heinland's Stranger In A Strange Land and say to the group 'Thou art god'. I am a girl quite full of love and passion and while many very religious and spiritual people have gotten close to knowing me, I have not yet planted my feet into any specific religion. And perhaps most far from my feet is Christianity, if not Catholicism. In order to bring a long story short, I'll state that I think many church goers today go purely for extrinsic values, they do not passionately believe in their sect, and they go for reasons of guilt or public word. This I think is the result of organized religion. Many have forgotten the truth of love and have discredited their own spiritual connection to god, Jesus, Brother Ali, Mother Nature, whoever. And now see that they must pray every day at 8:52 PM, go to church ONLY on Saturday, never eat vegetables starting with the letter D or V and dress nicely and say nice compliments to others if only to improve their 'Christianity' or their rank in the waiting line to heaven.

Lovely beaches of California..

They forget that real spirituality, or lack of it, is truly the way you give the discredited, yet bright co-worker room to explore and think. It is in letting your dear friend or child tell you of their dreams and not WANT to force your own upon them. True spirit comes through when one stretches themselves to do what they want to make possible, it is when the believe in themselves. It is missing church in order to help a school, it is putting your mind heart and all will power into doing the thing you LOVE. Some people say this is 'using god's gift to you', some say it is believing in yourself, some say it's being selfish and some say it's Mother Theresa. I sat it is being passionate and using your passion the best that your ability allows it to. Because if one is truly doing something with their entire heart in it, they will be benefiting others. It's inevitable.

My beliefs are three fold. Love, passion, self. Believe in love with all your heart and do whatever it is you want in the true name of love. Because if it is for love, it is always pure. Acts of love are absolute.

Believe in passion for if one did not, one's life would be meaningless with no strive for improvement or knowledge. Do what you feel passionate about, but only do it with your entire heart. If you don't, it is a waste of others' time and mostly a waste of your life.

MOSTLY, believe in yourself. Know yourself, love thyself, search deep in yourself so you will find a spiritual connection to a force higher than your own. People find this connection in gospels, music, waterfalls, skyscrapers...Whatever force you find that you strive to know, find it through yourself. If you can't believe, love and have endless faith in yourself, then who else can you love, or even know?

I think many churches really DO say some of this at their core, yet so many people shy away from the array of blatant facts that I have stated. So with my planned lesson being what my imagination created, I felt the need to..no, not back down..you can never back down in deciding based on believes... so I stepped aside. I called Larry Saturday night and said that me preaching to a lot of eager children ready to be indoctrinated by my words of wisdom, or whoever else should have been standing there if not for me. I stand by my words of wisdom, yet I know they might evolve.. and I am in no mental or philosophical state to tell anyone how to think So I phoned Larry and blatantly backed out of Sunday School.

Bye bye home...

Sunday Morning, Larry gave a presentation of the difference in life of being a participatator and a spectator. We hauled a potato in a jar to show the youngens and thus we continued. Together, him doing most of the talking, myself doing the explaining and answering questions, we told the story of our adventure to Israel. About the fears and expectations of traveling, about the strength one must ALWAYS exert into any situation and grow to be a participator in life, not merely one who watches the skit of life waltzing, pretzling ans swaying right in front of their eyes.

We made a test as well, Larry had me teach the class a song and dance, one of a little ducky and ducklings in the water. The first verse is English and the second German. The song is accompanied by many embarrassing (for those who have still been able to live with the ability of becoming embarrassed..) moves, best of all the grand ending of every little ducky sticking their tooshes out in the water and continuing the joyous dance. the brave ones of the class were mostly under 7 or over 50. As it usually is in life.. I think I missed that gene. I find no fun in being embarrassed. So, I dropped that act quite sometime before this duck dance.

In our group there were the brave little ones who giggled when the big man in front of them said 'butt' and who laughed at this made-up-adult-word, participatator. Their eyes were bright. There was the middles ones, the pre-teens, pre-adults, pre-young adults, those searching for a lable..some place in the Sunday school room or world to fit. they sat back in a corner with their arms hugging their torsos like they were scared of a tractor trying to pry them apart.. I remember my time of life when this was normal. Sitting back, doing what little and big things I could do to possibly fit in. Buy the strange looking water bottle, wear the plastic and martian like shoes, cause goodness, why else? They were COOL!!! I cared for a good year about 'not caring' and hugging myself in the back of the room, trying with all my might not to look interested in anything an adult was telling me. I started this hideous act in the middle of my 5th grade year and dropped it entirely at the end of that year. It wasn't..fun. 

I didn't pity the inbetween age group who sat hugging themselves...But if I could say something to th em, if I could scream it in their faces I would love to shout 

----> BE WHOEVER YOU WANT

----> DO WHATEVER YOU LOVE

----> DON'T TRY TO BE COOL

please please please don't TRY to be anything at all.

They must stop hugging themselves... Nothing I can do to untangle the mess. Yet, I could stand up there in front of them and tell them that contrary to what's cool, I love this big old guy next to me and that I will pretend to be an awkward little duck and sing and I'll travel the world beacuse.. I CAN. And they can.. They're just got to let themselves. I hope some were listening.. Saddly, as just arriving out of high school, I have little faith in my age group.

After the Sunday school extravaganza, we watched a lovely Christian band play and it was wonderful. Music is the most tangable form of human spirit... that's why churches do embrace it.. Funny thing, though. It's not even tangable, is it?